Why do I want to do this?

I'm pretty much a rookie at backpacking and hiking and saying that I am going to hike the Appalachian Trail generates a lot of eye rolling and amused condescension from family members and outdoor sports store employees. Even my dad, usually the most supportive parent in the world, took a while to come around to the idea. The first fifteen times I mentioned it to him, he'd say, "Wait....are you still talking about doing that?"

So I feel like I should give a thorough explanation of why exactly I hit on this plan. I can't remember when I first heard about the Appalachian Trail, but I do remember that my first reaction was a response to the very challenge of its existence. I mean, 2,000 miles? People walk that far? In one go? I've been accused of being unhealthily competitive before, and that certainly seems to be a factor in my original interest. I wanted to see if I could do something like that, if I was as tough and determined as these other people.

Five months ago, I came home. I was in Armenia for two years and two months, as a Peace Corps volunteer, and I can honestly say that it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't regret doing it, but I know I would've gone home in those first six months if it weren't for the fact that I'm extraordinarily stubborn and proud. I couldn't bear going home and looking everyone in the eye and telling them that I'd failed.

That's a pretty stupid reason to do anything, but I'm still pleased that I made it, that I completed my service. At some point, I hit a runner’s high. I started to appreciate the pain and how I had to push myself to keep going. I loved that I was strong enough and I wanted to hold on to that feeling. As much as I wanted to be home, it felt like a letdown to go back to a normal life. I wanted another challenge.

During my service, I started to think about how this would be the perfect time in my life to do a long hike. I have no career, no house, no car, no pets, no children, no significant other. I'm young and in reasonably good shape. In the midst of my extended adolescence is the perfect time to be yet more unstable. My Peace Corps service was an emotional challenge, and now I want to do something that will be difficult in another way.

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